Category Archives: Trauma

The Alexandria Papers Newsletter #112


Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and Meditation to Boost Health and Well-Being | American Heart Association
Practicing mindfulness and meditation may help you manage stress and high blood pressure, sleep better, feel more balanced and connected, and even lower your risk of heart disease.
Can mindfulness and meditation exercises help me? | Mayo Clinic
Engaging with the world around you can lower your stress. Here’s how to practice mindfulness meditation.


Complications of Migraine Headaches | Healthline
Complications that arise from migraine headaches and migraine treatment may range from mild to life threatening. Find out what to watch out for, and alternative treatment options.
Signs and Symptoms of a Migraine | Healthline
Migraine symptoms are caused by a complex interaction among neurotransmitter chemicals, blood vessels, and nerves in the brain. Learn more about the different symptoms to expect at each stage.

Trauma and Sexual Abuse

Signs You May Be Dealing With Lingering Effects of Childhood Trauma | Institute for Advanced Psychiatry
To get started, it’s important to recognize the signs that a past childhood trauma may still be haunting you, so we thought we’d review some of the more common warning flags here.
What are the Signs of Repressed Childhood Trauma in Adults | Integrative Life Center
Responding to certain places, people, or experiences in ways that you don’t understand is a sign of repressed childhood trauma in adults.

Mental Health

16 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress and Anxiety | Healthline
Excess stress is a common problem. Learn effective ways to relieve stress and anxiety.
20 Super-Simple Ways To Relieve Stress *Immediately* | Women’s Health
No, it doesn’t involve ‘gramming your bubble bath.


The ultimate summer reading list: 15 crime thrillers and mysteries to keep you guessing | The Guardian
From Mick Herron’s Slow Horses and Ian Rankin’s Rebus to new books from Bret Easton Ellis and Emma Cline, your beach reads are sorted courtesy of Guardian Australia’s staff and critics
Summer Reading: A List of Classics | Travelers Rest Here
During the summer it can be hard to find the right books for you to read. You want a book that’s engaging enough to bring on a hike with you to enjoy at the top of a mountain in a hammock. Maybe even a book that you were supposed to read in high school but somehow never got around to it. Such books can be hard to choose. I can help you out with a list of five classics worth reading this summer.

Cooking and Baking

16 Summer Dinner Salad Recipes That Make Easy, Satisfying Meals | Martha Stewart
These summer dinner salads are just the thing for those nights when you need a fresh, fuss-free supper. They use peak-season produce and lean proteins for cool meals.
50 Smoothie Recipes That Will Satisfy Your Hunger | Food Network
Need a wholesome breakfast or midday meal? Craving a better-for-you sweet treat? Make one in a matter of minutes with these easy smoothie recipes from Food Network.
Easy Yeast Bread Recipe – Golden Crust Artisan Bread | Sweetie Pie and Cupcakes
This is our favorite, easy yeast bread recipe because it requires no kneading and produces a golden outer crust and chewy soft inside.

The Alexandria Papers Newsletter on Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts by email and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. I’m committed to having the entire archive free, but paid subscribers help cover the costs of research each week.

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Do you need help editing or proofreading your book? I’m a retired university World Literature and Creative Writing professor, and author of several traditionally and/or Indie published books, with over 20 years editing and proofreading experience with novels, poetry, and nonfiction. Trauma informed editing.
Heaven and earth, the Celtic saying goes,
are only three feet apart, but in thin places,
that distance is even shorter.
Eric Weiner, “Where Heaven and Earth Come Closer”
for Max or Alex or, maybe, James

Last night I dreamt of you, after all these
years, and you were lying in my arms, in

the middle of the day, the sunlight showing
the first strands of silver in your hair, and

your eyes blue, so blue, heart-poundingly
blue, like something out of a romance novel

only better because, at last, you were mine.
Afterward, in the dream, we walked through

your garden, lush with peonies, pink and red,
heavy with daffodils and yellow roses, and

you showed me the freshly dug corner where
you were going to plant carnations, red and

pink, because they were my favorite. I stumbled
along beside you, wondering that someone as

beautiful as you could actually love me, and
when you kissed me, the sun warm on my

back and you warm and strong in front of me,
bees buzzing faintly behind us, a lush carpet

of violets under our bare feet, the cat rubbing
against our ankles, when you kissed me and

whispered my name, the walls around my heart
crumbled into useless piles of rock and salt.

Last night, I dreamt of you, after all these
years, and of our worst argument…

(read more)

As powerfully written, darkly humorous, surprising, and accessible as Szeman’s prose works, these poems let you glimpse into the hearts, lives, and minds of ordinary people — whether they be mythological, biblical, literary, or contemporary — as they struggle to make sense of relationships, family, marriage, divorce, children, spirituality, faith, and the existence of God. As they struggle to comprehend the very things each of us experiences every day.

(read more poems)


• Grand Prize Winner, Elliston Poetry Prize
• Isabel & Mary Neff Creative Writing Fellowship
• First Place, Elliston Poetry Prize
• Second Place, Elliston Poetry Prize
Centennial Review Prize for Poetry
• Honorable Mention, Non-Rhyming Poetry,
Writer’s Digest Creative Writing Contest

(Get your copy now)

The Kommandant’s Mistress, (a novel)

Part One: The Kommandant, Chapter One

“Then I saw her. There she stood, in the village store, her hair in a long braid down the center of her back, her skin white in the sunlight, and my hand went to my hip, seeking the weight of my gun. As the girl spoke, I stumbled back against one of the shelves, my fingers tightening at the leather around my waist. While the shopkeeper arranged the food in the bag, the morning sun glinted on the storefront windows, illuminating the girl. The wooden shelves pressed into my shoulders and back. Sweat dampened my forehead and ribs. Another shopper spoke, frowned, pushed aside my arm to reach a jar on the shelf behind me, but I didn’t move. My hand slid down over my hip and leg. No, I’d forgotten that I no longer wore my gun…”

(read more)

About The Kommandant’s Mistress

The rumors spread by the Camp’s inmates, other Nazi officers, and the Kommandant’s own family insist that she was his “mistress,” but was she, voluntarily? Told from three different perspectives – that of the formerly idealistic Kommandant, the young Jewish inmate who captivates him, and the ostensibly objective historical biographies of the protagonists – this novel examines one troubling moral question over and over: if your staying alive was the only “good” during the War, if your survival was your sole purpose in this horrific world of the Concentration Camps — whether you were Nazi or Jewish — what, exactly, would you do to survive?  Would you lie, cheat, steal, kill, submit?

Flashing back and forth through the narrators’ memories as they recall their time before, during, and after the War, and leading, inevitably, to their ultimate, shocking confrontation, “Szeman’s uncompromising realism and superb use of stream-of-consciousness technique make [this novel] a chilling study of evil, erotic obsession, and the will to survive” (Publishers Weekly, starred review).

New York Times Book Review “Notable Book” and one of its “Top 100 Books of the Year,”  Winner of the University of Rochester’s Kafka Prize for “the outstanding book of prose fiction by an American woman,” the tales told by the Kommandant, his “mistress,” and their “biographer” will mesmerize and stun you, leaving you wondering, at the conclusion, which, if any, is telling the complete truth about what happened between them.


• New York Times Book Review “Notable Book”
and “Top 100 Books of Year”
• University of Rochester Janet Heidinger Kafka Prize
“the outstanding book of prose fiction by an American woman”
• Publishers Weekly (* review) “Outstanding Merit”
• Talmadge McKinney Award “Excellence in Research”

(originally published by HarperCollins / HarperPerennial NY)

(Get your copy now)

Part One: Claudia, Chapter One

Doubts are more cruel
than the worst of truths.


Chapter One

They got there sooner than I expected. I was waiting at the upstairs window, so I saw them when they arrived, their lights flashing, their sirens silent. There were two policemen, in two separate cars, and the paramedics in the ambulance. As they got out of the vehicles, the emergency lights turned everything a strange, pulsing red: the snow, the ice at the edge of the window, the bedroom where I stood. They slipped across the yard on their way to the front porch, their breath hanging white in the air. As they rushed up the front steps and disappeared from my view, I let go of the lace curtain and turned around to look at the body. I suppose I should’ve gone over to the bed and closed its eyes or covered its face, but I couldn’t make myself do it.

The squad stopped at all the other bedrooms on the floor before they found the right one. When they saw me and the body, they rushed in, plying stethoscope, oxygen mask, and blood pressure cuff, calling out to each other in their own telegraphic language. Their hands rushed as quickly as their words, but none of that made any difference. There was no life left in that body. There hadn’t been for ages.

All that time, I didn’t move or make a sound. When the policeman came over to me, he had to put his hand on my arm to get me to look at him. It was almost as if I were the one who was dead.

And to think that was only the beginning…

(read more)

About Only with the Heart

When Claudia Sloane is arrested for the murder of her mother-in-law, everyone is stunned, especially her husband Sam. Claudia loved Eleanor as if she were her own mother and would never have hurt her. At least, that’s what Claudia insists. But even Sam begins to wonder how far Claudia would go in the name of love: did she help the terminally-ill Eleanor commit suicide?

During the widely publicized trial, Sam tries desperately to maintain his belief in his wife’s innocence despite the mounting evidence against her. Meanwhile, Claudia unwillingly begins to suspect that Sam may have helped his own mother commit suicide, but is letting his wife risk conviction for the murder.

Gripping and suspenseful, compassionate yet unflinchingly honest, Only with the Heart deals with the dreadful effects of terminal disease on its patients and their Caregivers, explores our primal need for acceptance and family ties, and examines the complex and evolving nature of love.

Originally published by Arcade 

“Piercing, close-to-the-bone fiction.” — Barnes & Noble

“Bold and ambitious.” — San Francisco Mercury News

“[A] delicately structured, poignant novel of love, memory, & family responsibility.” — Publishers Weekly

(Get your copy now)

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